We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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