Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
