I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
