Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize