She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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