If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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