That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
