you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
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Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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