you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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