He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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