I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
