bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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