Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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