they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
