see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
