We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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