Ambien. No doubt about it.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
