office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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