so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
