I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
