The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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