Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
