i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
