Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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