hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
