NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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