I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
