4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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