i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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