i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
