And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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