i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
