I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I lost the right to judge tonight
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I die, sorry about rent.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
