the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
