i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
