and she was petting her beer can
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
