do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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