My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
two words: eviction party
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
