He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
