I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize