some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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