you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
