"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I CAN MOONWALK!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
