whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
