So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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