New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
