Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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