You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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