help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
