If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
