low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
