I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
