the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
