You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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