Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
