I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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