i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
