Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
