Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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