what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
