Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
