dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
