why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
