I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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