are you still at the devil's house?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
