Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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