My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
