I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
