then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
